The Stall Street Journal: Nightlife Edition
We’ve all been there. About 3 vodka cranberries/glasses of champagne/tequila shots in and you already have to go to the bathroom. Clubs often get a bad wrap in terms of bathroom upkeep and sometimes the wait is longer to get into the bathroom than it is to get into the actual club itself. After a few years of going out we have noticed which clubs tend to have nicer bathrooms than others and which have shorter lines and we’ll also give shout outs to clubs with the best bathroom attendants! We will judge the bathrooms using our “Douche Rating System” (1 douche is awarded to the overall worst bathroom and 5 douches to the overall best) and our assessment will include a variety of factors such as cleanliness (unacceptable, poor, okay, great, immaculate), overall bathroom decor and average wait time. In this segment we have included 5 venues but be on the look out for updates on our favorite and least favorite bathrooms. [Photo via]
#1. Sometimes we wonder if it’s easier to use the bathrooms at RdV. than it is to get into the club itself. Yeah, no getting into RdV. is much easier than getting access to one of the lounge’s three exclusive restrooms. The line often trails out into the club itself and is so unorganized that there might as well be individual bouncers at all three stalls. Though the bathrooms are personal so you have total privacy, they’re very narrow and aren’t really nice to look at. [Photo via]
Unisex Bathrooms: Yes
Cleanliness: Okay
Average Wait Time: 20 Minutes
Overall: 1 Douche
#2. Le Baron
At the top floor of Le Baron lies a bathroom attendant and about 4 unisex bathroom stalls. The more used stalls are the ones lined on the wall but if you go further towards the bathroom attendant station, there are two additional stall that are less used. All the restrooms are single stalls and feature the red on black chinois wall paper that we love so much. The rooms themselves are quite spacious and there usually is never a long line to use them. [Photo via]
Unisex Bathrooms: Yes
Cleanliness: Great
Average Wait Time: 3-5 Minutes
Overall: 4 Douches
#3. Avenue
We love Avenue, especially for their Tuesday House Party, but that bathroom line is ridiculous. There are about three stalls downstairs and an additional two upstairs. The bathrooms themselves are quite nice and are always clean but the problem is that bathroom line itself. The line is so long that you could leave your friend on the bathroom line at Avenue, go next door to Artichoke, order a pie, eat the pie, get back to meet your friend and they would still not have gotten into the bathroom. If you’re drinking vodka cranberries at your promoter table like it’s your job at Avenue we hope you brought a change of pants…because you’re sure as hell not going to make it to the bathroom on time. [Photo via]
Unisex Stalls: Yes
Cleanliness: Great
Average Wait Time: 15 Minutes
Overall: 2 Douches
#4. Provocateur
You would think that from all the money this place gets every night that the bathrooms would be something out of a Ritz Carlton brochure. Yeah, no that’s not the case. The bathroom itself literally looks like the club owners ran out of money and put this together with whatever they had left. It’s not that they’re not adequate, it’s just that they’re nothing to write home about. The stalls are individualized but there are small gaps under the stalls so be careful about dropping your phone or other valuables as someone could reach under and grab it (this happened to my friend’s IPhone). But Provocateur definitely wins points by having a hilarious bathroom attendant who comes stocked with everything from mints to cologne to lollipops. Also there really never is a wait to use the restroom which is definitely a plus. [Photo via]
Unisex Bathrooms: Yes
Cleanliness: Okay
Average Wait Time: No Wait
Overall: 3 Douches
#5. Pink Elephant
Oh Pink Elephant, you thought you had us fooled. We know you thought that by making the entire bathroom gold you would disguise that it looks as though it came straight out of a Starbucks. And you certainly couldn’t mask the fact that the bathroom itself is probably the same size as an average walk in closet. We bumped into the bathroom attendant probably over five times within the three minutes we were in there and it doesn’t help that the men’s urinal is about 4 inches away from the entrance because you know, every guy likes being watched when you pee. Also, the women’s bathroom line can be a bit long sometimes but it helps that Pink Elephant doesn’t have unisex bathrooms. [Photo via]
Unisex Bathrooms: No
Cleanliness: Great
Average Wait Time: 3-5 Minutes
Overall: 2 Douches
Check back for the second edition of The Stall Street Journal: Nightlife Edition!
